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“The Theory of Everything” or the Great “I Am”?

A Perspective on Substitutive and Subsistence Coefficients

How Math May Quantify & Qualify One’s Satisfaction with God!

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Many people are under the assumption that any form of mathematics beyond an understanding of basic foundational level is not a necessity. Additionally, some have developed phobias associated with mathematics that lead to an almost hatred and avoidance of Algebra, Geometry, Statistics and other forms of  higher computation and logical problem solve methods. Yet, most Academic programs require at least Algebra or Statistics for Graduation. The Basis is for Algebra and other forms of mathematics allow an individual to bridge the gap between logic and reason and even to understand abstract concepts. Bass mentions, Math forms the foundation of all sciences (Bass, 2012) and may be the basis for all communication and thus is the language of the universe itself.

One can even make the claim that the never changing-changing mind, body and Spirit of The All Knowing, All Present, All Powerful God is ever reacting to a multitude of probabilities and an infinite number of possibilities which can best be expressed simply as,  “All things are possible through Christ ( Phil. 4:14). If we were to express this in a mathematical way Possibility is thus greater than or equal to probability but only to one who abides in Christ in faith – mercy and grace.

Stephen Hawkins is credit for his believe of “The Theory of Everything” in which he in a lifetime both proved and disproved the existence of God. In reality when one studies the later work and Hawkins’ work in its entirety one can conclude what Hawkins is, stating is that all life originated from an intelligent point that transcends time, space, all dimension and even nonexistence. Thus, for something to be everything, it must also include and transcend nothingness.

Additionally, Hawkins placed this intellectual entity in a central location in the dome that encompasses the entire universe and every dimensions. Finally, this deduction is similar to most of the near-eastern creation primordial concepts of creation most anthropological theories including those of the three monotheistic religions, Islam, Judaism, and Christianity.

From the Judo-Christian, prospective God created the world in seven days. However, some debate whether this is the actual first creation of our planet or whether it is a reforming of creation after an initial creation attempt. The first creation theory in Genesis 1 views the First Earth as a realm for the fallen angels that was created then became inhospitable in reaction to the revolt and expulsion of Lucifer as a result of pride and a desire to become God. The Seven-Day creation process may even be merely a blueprint or literary device to explain the forming and filling of the universe (Boyd & Eddy, 2009, pp. 70-97).

The use of the number 7 in Scripture or a variant such as 70 refers to life or creation whereas 3 refers to the persona or aspects of God, the trinity. One refers to God universally the Great I AM. Moreover, four can be seen to represent the cross. Many believe the top position to represent Heaven (Father), the Bottom to be Earth (even Satan, for some Humanity or Adam), and the sides to be Son and Spirit.

Eight is the number of infinity, nine in some sects of Christianity and Judaism represents adversary, the devil, or evil and six is the number of man. Seven-Seven-Seven is the Holy number in some sects as well representing the number of God. Additionally, many reference the seven seals within Revelation and the seven signs and wonders of Christ while other refer to 8 seals and miracles of Christ (Gospel of  John) depending on dogma and doctrine.

Finally, when God speaks 3 times it should be seen as all aspects of the trinity speaking or appearing and it is not a coincidence that many people need to hear things at the least 3 times to learn new task or skills.

“Mathematics within exercises of commerce is  a means to integrity which honors the Lord (Lev 19:35-36)”, Jesus however did warn against the evil of greed and unscrupulous business deals, think of the Statement of not being able to serve Two Master in Matt. 6:24 and the Parable of the Shrewd Manager in Luke 16: 1-15 NIV.

The Book of Acts views, ministry via proximity as first to the Jews then to the Gentiles. Thus, While Acts does speak of evangelism beginning where one is physically present and then sojourning to the Ends of the Earth.  If one studies The Book of Acts, the historical, cultural and theological concepts within the various missionary Journeys of Paul and others that God elected, or sent for to witness to the world as his servants from and to distant lands will become clear. Furthermore, both Paul and Peter remind us that we are to consider ourselves Ambassadors of Christ and that this world is not our home. Even Jesus reminds us the wind blows freely as it choices to do so and additionally that one must come to know Him by their own free volition.

Thus, from measurements for building the Ark, to the temple to the various rods and even the geology numbers hold a place of distinction of prominence within the Bible and the history, present and future of humanity.

Besides being useful to classify and quantify things, mathematics is a universal language all machines and all creatures communicate using codes. The basic form is the binary system a simple relay code of “on and off” or “ones and zeros that tell neurons to fire or switches to fire. The earliest of scientist and mathematicians from the Hebrews Arabs and well into the 19th century used math to prove and not disprove God. Even Sir Francis Bacon and Newton were Christians as was Galileo and many other great minds including Thomas Jefferson.

“If we do not find satisfaction in God we will seek it elsewhere (Beth, et al., 2003).” Thus, we become slaves to in subsistence or a life substitute of living (Beth, et al., 2003). The basic concept in subsisting living one becomes a beggar and lives off the affections of another to fill what only God can supply. Additionally, we may become thieves and steal the affections and even time and possessions of others. The concept of substitution is when we create idols of people, place or things, thus placing hang-ups, hold-ups or habits before Christ. Our reliance must come from him and all we do and live for must be for the Glory of God and the prosperity of his Eternal Kingdom (Beth, et al., 2003).

The relationship of this to math can be expressed simply in a math as 1*0=0 or reliance on, in and by an individual on false things = nothing. “For The Wages of Sin is Death ( Roman 6:23) or “Life is meaningless under the Sun (Theme of Ecclesiastes)” in either perspective no matter how hard one works or  how moral one is all are sinners and only can be justified and redeemed by Christ( Rm: 1-8).

The verse I draw most of my strength from in times of crisis is, “Whom Shall I Fear (Ps 27:1, Rm 8:31-40).” While the actual verse is in Psalms, the concept is further developed in Romans, which states as Champions of Christ No Power of this world or Spirit World can harm us.  Once in Christ one is in Christ, we made struggle even suffer, but in the end when we live for his glory and in his love since he is love and we express this love to everyone and everything we all will succeed. We are more than conquerors we are inheritors and citizens of the Kingdom being reborn in his exact Image How amazing and magnificent this Blessed Assurance is and eternal destiny unimaginable.

While math may not hold all the answer of God or even to ones’ worldview it is certainly a tool that can help build and shape a better tomorrow and understand one’s past.

In God, Christ and Spirit,

Trent Rindoks

Word Count # 1338

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References

Bass, A. (2012). Math Is Useless. In A. Bass, Math Study Skills (1st ed.). Boston: Pearson.

Beth, M., Briscoe, J., Wilson, S. D., Hart, K., Hager, D., Wells, T., & LaHaye, B. (2003). A Women and Her God: Life Enriching Messages: Extraordinary women. Brentwood: Integrity Publishers (AACC).

Boyd, G. A., & Eddy, P. R. (2009). Across the Spectrum: Understanding Issues in Evangelical Theology. (2nd, Ed.) Grand Rapids: Baker Academic.

 

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conflict

 

In Oneness of Differences

The Art of Negotiation Compromise in Marriage

 

Trenton Clark Rindoks

CCOU 304

Liberty University

October 17, 2016

 

Abstract

Within every social dynamic quarrels and discrepancies arise. Thus, it is of the utmost importance to develop skills of conflict resolution in all social situations especially in a marriage. A marriage is much more than a romantic arrangement or contractual obligation. Marriage is the second highest form of expression of love and is a covenant between two separate and yet unique people who have become one person joined together in union with God under a higher covenant or contractual agreement with the Trinity of God (Balswick & K, 2014). This concept is often misunderstood in our culture which values the pursuit of life, liberty, happiness, and places (Rindoks, 2015) . At times the desire to confirm to the ways of society or self-take priority over the biblical virtues of salvation, freedom/empowerment, joy and interdependence.

It is only from reshaping of one’s conceptions, action and mannerisms coupled with a will and need to work together in union as well as to search introspectively seeking growth that a successful foundation for marriage can be built.

Therefore, a virtuous marriage is a covenant between God and two individuals. “This union two people becoming oneness in flesh with the Trinity, should provide hope for in oneness with God the couple shall not need to have fear of going thru the process of change alone (Balswick & K, 2014).” Any growth, healing or repentance is not the any venture done by one or both parties alone but is inspired by the Holy Spirit and aided and blessed by God and as such “ If God is for  on our side  Whom Shall we Fear(Ps. 3).”

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Introduction

Disagreements are part of every marriage and can arise from busy schedules, financial setbacks, personality differences, views on religious, social, political beliefs, or simply out of fear. Furthermore, communication difficulties as well as unresolved feelings of hurt and influences from the couples’ families and one’s upbringing are precipitating influences of conflict or crisis in marriage and family life, Transitional or developmental stages also can cause discord within a marriage as well  feelings of feelings of low self-such as unworthiness or insignificance. (Clinton & Sibcy, Why You Do The Things You Do, 2006). If left unresolved this discord result in divorce in approximately ½ of all marriages.

Conflict Resolution in Marriage

Understanding Conflict

The greatest fear is the fear of separation or abandonment. This fear forms the foundational reason of why God created man and women to be in union or marriage with one another. Divorce not only affects and devastates the individuals directly involved but has long lasting consequences on the mind and action of the children and other family members and friends who are involved with the parties of the divorce as well. Thus, divorce is a social epidemic and the necessity for effective resolution skills and effective communication forms the foundation in the field of counseling and the lives’ of every couple.

The nature or cause of the conflict or situation at hand should be seen as the true problem by confronting the issues and facing them instead of avoiding them. This strategy allows for change by growth but it is wise to start with small areas of growth and focus on each other’s strength rather than shortcomings. “This however, often requires each party or person involved to view the problem from the other’s view (Duffield, 2013).” Patience, perseverance, courage and empathy and above all else love from God, self and each other is required during the negotiation process. Although some have a tendency to withdraw or detach from the person or situation of discord or hurt. “It is more common for men to become withdrawn from their spouse. The female satisfaction in the marriage greatly decreased especially when she used the engagement or pursuit method in an attempt to avoid strive (Kurdek, 1995). “

Many spouses have a desire to change the other person into an ideal image or self-conceived concept which in many cases is formed from preconceptions of one’s own family of origin, peer groups, religious –social – worldview and hang-ups, hold-ups and habits formed during the various stages of life before and during the marriage. This is in actuality a nearly impossible task (Beth, et al., 2003).

The key to acceptance and respect, or submission according to Thelma Wells can be found in an understanding of 1 Corinthians 13. “Within all of us is a deep bond that binds us to one another called ‘the glue of authentic love.’ This form of love is an expression of genuine care and compassion for one another.”   In meditating apply and  understanding  the wisdom of 1 Corinthians 7  the necessity of unity to be set free one’s insecurities through loving submission to Goad and another becomes  apparent.  Such insecurities and false believes form the basis for one to change another into an image of themselves rather than accepting and loving them for the diversity and uniqueness that has been created in them by God. For the primary purpose of all humanity is to love God and each other and to rely solely on him living for his glory above all else. A dependency on people, place or things will fail. Only in and through Christ can one truly find the substance of needs. When we lean to heavy on people for emotional or any other support we become beggars. When we turn to places or things or give our power to people other than God they become our Judas’ our false god’s and ultimately the means of sin and death (Beth, et al., 2003).

 

 

 The Nature of Forgiveness

A study conducted by Finchman and Beach concluded that the role forgiveness plays in resolving arguments and disagreements varies only slightly between men and women. “For wives on a 9 point scale forgives had a rating of 5.8 and for husbands 5.7 (Fincham & Beach, 2007).”Although surprisingly low, it does show that forgiveness is an ingredient in the resolution process but it illuminates there are many more variables such as the initial cause of the offense and that perception of data between genders and even the way one processes feelings of healing and hurt are often critical in reaching a mutual understanding during any actual or perceived situation of wrong doing  (Fincham & Beach, 2007). “Well-handled conflicts lead to mutual respect and closeness in an every relationships and between partners (Okafor & Osakinle, 2014).” However, this requires each person to empathize with each other’s thoughts, feelings and actions and to be able to communicate in an appropriate and effective manner so a solution to the problem at hand can bring closure. The Conflict Resolution Model offers a fruitful plan to resolve issues of dissention: “By developing expectations for win-win solutions and defining each party’s interests in brainstorming through creative options plus combining options into win-win solutions negotiation is achieved instead of compromise (Davidson & Wood, 2004).”

A Plethora of other techniques exist but all require effective and efficient communication and empathy and active listening skills. The main focus of this amended work is to provide insight and encouragement to couple in times of conflict so the social illness of divorce can be prevented or cured.

The original paper was written in the summer of 2015. However, the availability of new research and as errors were found within the original an amendment was warranted. The original contained a solid foundation of information to build upon thus it was used as the basis for the new work (Rindoks, 2015).  Although some may question this approach one may ask if the Epistle of Romans which is a synopsis of Paul’s writings and includes paraphrase from the Old Testament and contemporary works of his era has any merit or even any current work of many scholars and professional of this age. The emphasis on legalism over morality is best settled by the statement made by Paul and should be used to avoid conflicts, foster diversity and encourage unity while breaking down the barriers of pride and is included in the Epistle of Romans: “We who are strong (Moral) ought to bear with the failings of the weak (Legalistic) and not to please ourselves. Each of us should please our neighbors for their good, to build them up. For even Christ did not please himself but, as it is written: ‘The insults of those who insult you have fallen on me.’ For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through the endurance taught in the Scriptures and the encouragement they provide we might have hope.

May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had, so that with one mind and one voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God (Rom. 15: 1-7 NIV).”

The Biblical Marriage Examined

The Biblical Model of Marriage is based on the doctrine of the trinity in which the Father, Son and Spirit each are three uniquely distinctive individuals of one collective body or personas.  In the beginning and throughout all the seasons of marriage the two separate personalities that make up the unified couple become one united entity.  While both parties   retain distinct personality traits, backgrounds, strengths and weaknesses each person is united with the other and God in a covenant which is more than an arrangement. This pact of free submissiveness is not a contractual obligation or moral agreement but rather a juncture of mind, body, soul and spirit that forms the final cohesion or unity of the whole marriage – the covenant of trinity or oneness with God.

Both the bride and groom retain connection to their respective families of origin however each family is also incorporated in to the dynamic and additionally new family element is created and joined to form yet another trinity or cohesive unit. Each individual brings their respective individual strengths and weakness to the marriage which thus acts in a cumulative nature creating a stronger unit, based on interdependence, giving foundation ,empowerment and security to the whole family dynamic or unified structure as a whole (Balswick & K, 2014).

All of creation is driven to meet certain basic needs which can be divided into two primary categories of either significance or security. In a healthy marriage one must looks first to Christ to meet one’s needs and then relies on each other provide the necessary mutual support to meet matters of significance and security (Crabb, 1977).  All of mankind’s shortcomings, or sins  stem from insecurities and misplaced need which leads us to rely on our self or depend to heavily on others resulting in unhealthy relational types, false assumptions, maladjusted emotional responses, and inappropriate actions. This in turn results in conflict, as negative emotions, and communication errors lead others to react to what is perceived as hurt or harm (Beth, et al., 2003). Without the help of God and others, mutual understanding and growth conflict resolution is often unsuccessful for unmet issues of the past or present will keep resurfacing within all of one’s relationships or interactions.

While, many theories and worldviews hold the belief that one is to strive, declare and achieve independence from tyranny, seek the empowerment, and live for self-ambition. In truth all were justified and redeemed worthy only by the Blood of Christ and called to be live in an empowered interdependent relationship for the glory of God. This new citizenship and merit has freed all from the bondage of the sin and death yet is a gracious gift requiring the submission of love to God and another. Even Jesus did not act independently of his father and would frequently perform works alongside the aid of his companions. Submission can best be understood as an act of loving respect in which all parties involved merely empty themselves[1] to serve the greater good of all involved and not as an act of authoritarian control. Furthermore, submission is the action that binds though and feeling and empowers all members of the group to grow, prosper, learn develop, encourage one another, and strengthens unity of the dynamic. Through respect, trust, forgiveness, effective communication acknowledgement of strengths, the practice of disciplines submission enables the man to love the Church as Jesus loves the Church and the women to become the bride of Christ or helpmate of Adam.  In the case of marriage the two become one and are conjoined with God as they trudge the road as one in the service and glory of God.

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Effective Communication

Effective communication skills are not only important in resolving conflicts but the lack of proper communication is one of the primary causes of conflicts in relationships. Thus, effective communication skills are paramount for a marriage and all relationship in general. Communication consists of both verbal and nonverbal components (body language, reading etc.…) however verbal components are the more effective as they allow the listener to respond to errors of translation or miscommunication (Balswick & K, 2014). Non-verbal communication is reliant on symbolism and thus can be misinterpreted by the receiver and is easily taken out of context.

When verbal and nonverbal communication are blended effective – communication is created. Both parties interact using body language and verbal cues.  This higher form of communication is thus achieved but requires a certain degree of intuition and empathy. In using the ability to understand and define the feelings of another plus combing the aptitude to differentiate cultural, gender and personality differences effective communication and rapport is achieved. However, one must first be an active and effective listener to master the art of communication as communication requires both the ability to transmit, process and receive information if one wishes to master the art of communication.

Active-Effective Listening

Active and effective listening can be beneficial to couples in three primary areas. First, it reduces self-interest and increases interdependency. Second, it breaks down negative patterns in communication such as criticism, defensiveness (retaliation), contempt (insults), or stonewalling (avoidance, shutting down).  Finally, it proliferates the quality and quantity of the communication time and meaning (Clinton & Ohlschlanger, 2013). An efficient listening technique often taught to couples who undergo counseling is the L.O.V.E. method (Rindoks, 2015).

L.O.V.E.

L- Listen and Repeat. People frequently feel they are misunderstood because they actually are often misunderstood. To compensate for this problem in communication one party must listen reflecting on context and empathizing with the feeling of the one speaking. Then the one receiving should repeat the message. Clarification and repetition confirms that the proper context and feeling has been transmitted. Additionally, this allows the transmitter to fix any confusion of context or emotional misunderstanding aiding to harmony in congruency in communication.

O- Observe your effects. Pay attention to cues in that the message is not being misunderstood. If an error in communication occurs abruptly stop and apologize for the error.

V- Value your partner. Value uniqueness as you seek to resolve conflicts avoiding criticism and negativity.

E- Evaluate the interest of both partners. Consider substitutive resolutions that will serve the interests of all participants. Reflect on if the solution will advance spiritual growth and serve the Glory of God of both the marriage, each individual and the family and /or society in the spirit of truth, love and unity. (Clinton & Ohlschlanger, 2013).

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Forgiveness

In order to maintain harmony within a marriage, and for conflict resolution to be a success both parties must be willing to exercise forgiveness. The Bible teaches that in order to be forgiven one must first forgive (Matt. 6:15 NIV).  One practical model for forgiveness is known as the R.E.A.C.H. Model.

R.E.A.C.H.

R- Recall the hurt. Describe the transgression in writing and the aspiration for forgiveness including ways to transmit or receive an apology, means of understanding the transgressor(s) and transgression(s) in a new light, and finally seeking resolution to move on with one’s life through the reliance of divine intervention and is some cases with the aid of civil justice (Clinton, Hart, & Ohlschlager, Caring For People God’s Way, 2005) (Rindoks, 2015).

E- Empathize with the transgressor. Express compassion for the transgressor and attempting to see the situation from their prospective.  This allows negative feelings and loss to reducing the need to play the role or view oneself as the victim. It is helpful to reminisce on positive emotions, actions, or memories about the person or situation to aid in healing and forgiving process.

A-Altruistic gift of forgiveness. Bless the other person with the gift of forgiveness.  Focus on a time when you to committed a sin and were forgiven or even when the wrong was forgotten and embrace the feeling you received by the grace and mercy of forgiveness.

C-Commit publicly to forgiveness. In the case of serious wrong doing, hurt or abuse, many find comfort humility and healing by composing an affirmation of forgiveness and sharing this publicly with a witness. Some may wish to apologize publicly before a third-party verbally or in a group setting as a testimony of forgiveness. Others way wish to write a brief synopsis of the wrong and burn it as an offering to God. No matter the method taken all the above actions, thoughts and feelings illustrate a commitment to change and help hold each party accountable to the act of forgiveness and blossom growth, healing joy and love.

H- Hold on when in doubt. It is natural to feel anger or fear towards the offender even after one has forgiven the offense for some time. When such feelings turn to rumination, or perception of negative thought, feelings, actions, or consequences, one must not merely stop such a process but change the negative assumptions into positive thoughts or feelings about the person or situation (Clinton, Hart, & Ohlschlager, Caring For People God’s Way, 2005). When in doubt or overwhelmed hold on to positive thoughts and feelings of being forgiven yourself by others and the grace and mercy that you are forgiven in and justified by Christ alone.

Anger

Many people mistakenly confuse anger as a primary emotional response. Anger in actuality is a secondary emotional response and is a God given reaction simply telling the mind and/or the heart that some other emotion or thoughts is the cause of the disturbance (Rindoks, 2015). The Bible instructs us “In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold (Eph. 6: 26-27 NIV).” Simply stated this instructs us to promptly deal with conflict and not react in an inappropriate manner. Rather to promptly confront the person or situation head on and deal with it in an appropriate and virtuous and constructive manner instead of one that will harm one’s self or others. Anger itself is not a primary emotion but an indicator that something else is going on within or around the person. Thus Anger, is much like what happen when we put are hand on a stove we feel the burn. We can decide to leave it on the burner continue experiencing pain damage to body and even become numb from nerve damage, we can throw a fit cuss, scream or blame other, or we can simply treat the wound, determine, the reason we put our hand in the fire in the first place and then take steps to not do it again. Additionally, if the fault is partially someone else we need to admit our part while peacefully negotiation measures so we and others do not get burnt in the future.

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Methodology of Conflict Resolution

The Rules of Fair Fighting

The Rules of Fair Fighting is a practical method of negotiation. Introduced in 1968 by George Bach and Peter Wayden it provides 14 guidelines for reaching a viable solution.  Before this time all instances of conflicts were regarded as negative and thus the tendency was to avoid issues of strife or for the stronger party to engage in control (The Compromise Resolution Method or Authoritarian Model) or use other forms of power such as overindulgences, or  engage in overprotection issues (Balswick & K, 2014). The following is a summary of the fourteen steps of The Fair Fighting Rules:

  1. Identify the issue. Identify the issue and when multiple matters exist prioritize to correlate their association handling each individually.
  2. Choose the right time. Allow time for emotions to diffuse. Chose time that is appropriate for all participants schedule.
  3. Choose an appropriate place. Choose A neutral setting that will not give an advantage or make any feel uncomfortable and is free from distractions.
  4. Begin in a positive manner. Begin with complements, praise and prayer. State the situation in an empathic manner.
  5. Stick to the issue. Stick to the issues and do not become distracted.
  6. Do not bring up the past. Some may use a tactic known as gunny-sacking in which frustration and anger is stored up and then released, thus it is important to avoid bringing up past harms and criticisms.
  7. Avoid using emotional attacks. Hitting below the belt or using emotional attacks is prohibited In Fair Fighting.
  8. Take the other perspective seriously. Avoid chuckling or ridicule, and value each other’s participation.
  9. Express anger nonabusively. Use decisive statements of feeling and avoid verbal abuse and personal badgering or other tactics of control and abuse.
  10. Do not play games. Common methods include: the martyr (“I cannot do anything right!”), faking neediness or dependency, or the victim, (poor me).  Such tactics are to be circumvented as they only stall or destroy any attempts of negotiation or sway the decision forcing a one-side outcome and thus not a mutual compromise or true resolution.
  11. Avoid passive / aggressive behavior. Passive aggression can best be defined as using sublime or even indirect means to retaliate against a person in a response to anger. This ploy is often used by passive aggressive types to gain an upper hand in an argument.
  12. Do not ask for explanation of behavior. Commonly viewed as blaming, the person being interrogated or accused cannot offer a reasonable explanation and as such this method is counterproductive as it serve to bring about discord and stall any attempts of reconciliation or forgiveness.
  13. Avoid stereotyping and name calling. Avoid derogatory words such as ignorant, stupid, childish, and the like as these only act to antagonize the situation and hurt the feelings of other person. Furthermore, stereotypes and generalities may be mistaken as attacks and should be minimized or avoid at all cost.
  14. Avoid triangulation. Triangulation occurs when a third party is brought into a dispute to gain an advantage by one side(Balswick & K, 2014).

The Rules of Fair Fighting were introduced to provide structure for conflict resolution however they serve only as the foundation for conflict resolution.

Conflict Resolution Model

“The Conflict Resolution Model was formulated by a group of Australian psychologists who studied a variety of sources in order to integrate various methods to achieve a mutually beneficial outcome in a conflict situation thus creating a best-practice prescriptive process for negotiation and resolution of discord (Davidson & Wood, 2004).” The model is composed of four parts and is designed to give both parties a win-win solution (negotiated dual compromise).

  1. Developing the expectations for win-win solutions. Mistakenly both parties enter into negotiating expecting to have an advantageous outcome. It is necessary that the problem is reframed to provide for a dual compromise, cooperation and/or mutuality if a resolution is to be reached.
  2. Defining the issue in terms of underlying concerns, needs, or interests. Using efficient communication, skills and active listening coupled with empathy; each party should define the issue without blame, criticism or negativity.
  3. Using creativity and insight various outcomes should be explored to bring resolution to the issue at hand that will be favorable to all parties involved.
  4. Combining options into win-win solutions. Select from the best available alternatives that will yield the maximum benefit and provide a resolution to the conflict at hand benefiting all parties. If an agreement is not reached repeat the process.

In a newer derivative model known as PET which is often considered a management strategy the results are reviewed at a later date and then if the issue is still relevant the negotiation procedure is reviewed, revised,  returned to and continued  until a satisfactory resolution is achieved (Davidson & Wood, 2004).

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Conclusion

Conflicts are part of life.  Efficient communication active listen skills and forgiveness form the basis for all conflict resolution. It is of the upmost importance that in conflict resolution a solution is reached that brings unity, harmony and is of mutually beneficial to all parties involved in the resolution process. Occasionally this may require sacrifice on the part of one party, however it usual result in a dual compromise after negotiation and sacrifice from all participants involved in the tumultuous action. In most cases it involves brainstorming. Conflicts arise from miscommunication, feelings of hurt or harm especially when one’s security or significance is actually or perceived to be threatened.

Often originating from insecurities in development and other issues during the various stages of life it is essential for one to heal from past transgressions and forgive the wrongdoing of self and others.

Marriage is a covenant between the Trinity or three personalities of God and the couple. Thus, it is essential couples learn to work out their differences using the skills of conflict resolution. All of creation was created for relationship and all relationship is based on love. Thus it is important we carry the virtue of love in all are interactions on a daily basis.

In God, Christ and Spirit,

Trenton Clark Rindoks

 

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. Love never fails (1 Cor. 13:4-8 ).

 

References

Balswick, J. O., & K, B. J. (2014). The Family. Grand Rapids: Baker Academic.

 

Beth, M., Briscoe, J., Wilson, S. D., Hart, K., Hager, D., Wells, T., & LaHaye, B. (2003). A Women and Her God: Life Enriching Messages: Extraordinary women. Brentwood: Integrity Publishers (AACC).

 

Clinton, T., & Ohlschlanger, G. (2013). Competent Christian Counseling (Vol. 1). Colorado Springs: Water Brook Press.

 

Clinton, T., & Sibcy, G. (2006). Why You Do The Things You Do. Nashville: Thomas Nelson.

 

Clinton, T., Hart, A., & Ohlschlager. (2005). Caring For People God’s Way. Nashville: Thomas Nelson.

 

Crabb, L. (1977). Effective Biblical Counseling. Grand Rapids: Zondervan.

 

Davidson, J., & Wood, C. (2004). A Conflict Resolution Model. Theory into Practice, 43(1), 6-13. Retrieved from http://www.jstor.org/stable/3701559

 

Duffield, B. (2013). Reasons Why Conflict in Marriage Can Deter Divorce. American Journal of Family Law, 208-211. Retrieved from http://search.proquest.com/docview/1418169371?accountid=12085

 

 

Fincham, F. D., & Beach, S. R. (2007). Longitudinal Relations Between Forgiveness and Conflict Resolution. Journal of Family Psychology, 21(3), 542-545. doi:10.1037/0893-3200.21.3.542

 

Kurdek, L. A. (1995). Predicting change in marital satisfaction from husbands’ and wives’ conflict resolution styles. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 57(1), 153. Retrieved from http://search.proquest.com/docview/219763197?accountid=12085

 

 

Okafor, V. C., & Osakinle, E. O. (2014). CONFLICT RESOLUTION THROUGH EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION. Interdisciplinary Journal of Contemporary Research in Business, 5(9), 321-334. Retrieved from http://search.proquest.com/docview/1511427147?accountid=12085

 

Rindoks, T. C. (2015, Summer). Conflict Resolution in Marriage. CCOU 301, Liberty Univeristy, 1-12. Munford, Tennessee, United States of America: Hades 1 Solution. Retrieved from http://hades1solution.tumblr.com/

Footnote:

[1]Kenosis: To free oneself of affliction, loss, control, over-indulgence, habits,  fear, anxiety, pride,  false assumptions and adopt the mind and heart of Christ… : “In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage 7 rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature[b] of a servant, being made in human likeness And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death— even death on a cross (Phil 2:5-8) !”

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On The Necessity of Virtues and Values

Of an Empowering & Inspired Leader

The term values is often confused with virtues although similar in meaning virtues are characteristics and attributes (qualities and aspects) associated with the nature of God whereas values are any principles, standards, or qualities considered worthwhile and desirable (Bredfeldt 2006). Furthermore, values are determined by one’s worldview and are based on personality, family dynamics, environmental factors, social factors, cultural aspects, political views and other views of social nature. One’s view on creation, God (or the lack of, and even economics shapes one’s values as well as how one perceives and pursues the acquisition of knowledge and wisdom. Additionally one’s values are mutable and change as one’s perception and perspective changes. Our values can be influenced and manipulated by the views and teachings of others and form the basis of our morality where as our virtues are God given. The two combined form the basis for Ethics.

Ethics can be divided into three categories.  At the highest level is our Virtue our concept of God and Evil or theodicy.  Western social concepts of virtues is credited first to the Greek Philosopher Plato who views justice as the highest virtue.  Justice forms the bond that holds all the other four virtues of wisdom, courage, temperance (Self-control) and continence (abstinence from immorality especially sexually desire) in unity and congruency. Additionally, only through the exercise of knowledge and the power given within our soul can ultimate good be achieved for the form is an imperfect copy and our senses are inferior matter or existence is imperfect while essence (soul, God, spirit, knowledge) is perfect and unchanging and is the basis for all things (anonymous 2016).  The second level is one’s personal and family conception of what is right & wrong (general morality) and at the base is secular law or social and corporate structure.

Virtue, Values & Vices

Aristotle built upon Plato’s concepts but came to a different conclusion. For him matter and essence are inseparable and both are derived from God. The lower form matter thereby originated from the deity and all action originates from the potentiality of motion (anonymous 2016).   For Aristotle virtues are God given but must be developed in training and discipline in what he called means. If we for example wish exemplify High-Mindedness (Wisdom) but the over development of it this will lead to the excessive vice of pride (boastfulness, vanity). In Contrast a lack of development will lead to the vice of deficiency of foolishness ( humble-mindedness) Thus for Aristotle, virtues fail as a result of two categories’ of vices one of deficiency and one of excess as a result of a lack of discipline and training.

Aristotle’s list of virtues and vices are listed on the following chart (anonymous 2016).

VICE OF DEFICIENCY VIRTUOUS MEAN VICE OF EXCESS
Cowardice Courage Rashness
Insensibility Temperance Intemperance
Illiberality Liberality Prodigality
Pettiness Munificence Vulgarity
Humble-mindedness High-mindedness Vaingloriness
Want of Ambition Right Ambition Over-ambition
Spiritlessness Good Temper Irascibility
Surliness Friendly Civility Obsequiousness
Ironical Depreciation Sincerity Boastfulness
Boorishness Wittiness Buffoonery
Shamelessness Modesty Bashfulness
Callousness Just Resentment Spitefulness

 

Finally, one is to practice self-love and friendship or love of others, which is a communal relation, and peaceful and beautiful state of existence with the world in general (anonymous 2016). Furthermore, justice is both general and special in that it applies to the observance of both secular and moral law in occasional circumstance such as judicial and economic matters and is abstract in some instance for absolute justice, which is corrective, and often retaliatory is necessary in moral conduct and common decency.

God cannot be comprehended by practicing normal human moral insight; rather one finds God in happiness in being (anonymous 2016). For Aristotle, pain and pleasure of the mind and soul is the motivation behind the virtues and thus desire for higher pleasure one strives for the highest virtue of high-mindedness through the pursuit of knowledge, wisdom and the disciplines of means or pursuit of the other Godly virtues.

From a Biblical the character of the leader should be developed out of disciple and training from the study of God’s word, meditation, prayer, a life of obedience of faith ( reliance, dependence and trust on Christ and the Holy Spirit).   One must additionally die to flesh – born to Spirit (Rom. 12) and be without boastful pride and in loving humble servitude and in a unity of heart and mind that imitates the likeness of Christ (Phil 1-6). Through the transformation of one’s mind through various spiritual disciplines and the resistance of temptations and living by Christian Ethics, one is granted Spiritual Gifts for the glory of God and service (Rom 12-15).

Additionally, one is to be follow the guidelines of Christian character and conducts as outlined in 1 Tim: 3:1-7 and Titus 1:5-9. This ethical code is similar to the classical code of the Greeks and summarized lists certain desirable traits of conduct for leaders and elders of the church. However, this code should become the basis for all believers conduct, as it is list some basics guidelines for virtues besides those in Romans 12-15. The Fruit of the Spirit, which results from discipline practice and training, is the highest virtues (Gal 5-16-26, Col 3:1-17) and is only given by the leading and granting of the Holy Spirit. Both lists also contain some of the more common sins or depravities of Humanity.  One should recall from Romans 1-8 Paul reminds us all though the Law illustrates us the nature of our sin and we may have all intentions to do good deeds, works actions or even obey out of obligation of the Law. Because of our sin even after being justified or declared citizens of distinction worth and righteous (elect, saints). Will fall short. Thus only by the atoning cross can any of us be truly forgiven, and it is by Christ grace and mercy that all faith is based not by anything we can accomplish. WE however must with the aid of the Holy Spirit striving to become transformed dying from the temptations of sin, forgiving others as well as our self, empowering others and spreading the Gospel to the fallen world serving as Christ like teachers in faith, hope and love.

Courage

Courage is essential and is the result of Endurance, perseverance, and often times suffering.  Courage is the ability to face one’s fears, standing firm in strength in one’s convictions and is a discipline virtue that arises from faith and relying on the practice of truth in times of crisis, adversity or suffering. Courage as a virtue is the assurance of the interdependence working of God in total trust and reliance in any situation or occasion of danger (whether perceived or actual).

Thus, with that aid of the Holy Spirit and the Authority given to the believer by Christ the sovereignty will insure the outcome is in the best interest of the Trinity of God and for his divine creation and Eternal- kingdom.  Additionally courage sparks the passion and not always the sensibility of the individual leading to actions in a situation. Wisdom is the application of knowledge, virtues, and vales in a manner that practical and is thus sensible and heartfelt or appropriate in any given situation.

Truth

Truth can be absolute or relative based on assumptions, feelings, false input of one’s senses or misguided views or actions. The Bible in inerrant when God, Christ or “The Angel of the Lord says or the Holy Spirit gives direct directives. However, the Bible is also infallible meaning it is the means and ends of achieving Faith. Both doctrines of the church are human perspectives and can be supported by the Biblical Evidence.

However, the Bible is not fully inerrant or infallible in itself and never makes an exclusive claim for one or the other. Rather truth and faith (Spirit) matched with authenticity should be seen as the Biblical doctrine  Biblical intake and teaching requires the ability to differentiate, evaluate and incorporate  historical, occasional, cultural, situational, universal, personal and finally current relevancy (Duvall and Hays 2012, 235-246).

To make a claim that either truth of faith or works or goodwill (deeds) are to be separated or combined in any a+ +b or b+ d or any other combination to achieve salvation is missing the mark. The truth is all are inseparable and holistic parts lived and in of obedience of faith for the suffering Bondservant of Christ. One style of leadership or church will not be fitting or reach and meet the needs for all people and doctrines of man will divide. Each view has strengths and weakness as every man has strength and weaknesses (Bredfeldt 2006).

The Key of Wisdom

The key is discernment with biblical guidance and application of general revelation, assessment and our experience. This enables one as an individual, the Body of Believers or universal communal church, and all who are willing to hear, see and receive the Atoning Sacrifice of Christ and the Good-News in a manner that leads to a profession of faith and the empowering and ongoing transformation to the Eikōn. This New Adam – New Kingdom fulfillment, will be granted  when final salvation and full restoration is completed upon Christ return which is only possible with the aid of others and the Holy Spirit brought forth in humble, and accepting discerning teachings of love grace and mercy.

 

Uniqueness & Diversity: The Character of a Leader

What defines ethics and sound character will vary from subculture to culture and will differ even by some degree with in the individual heart and mind of each person. A worldview is simply how an individual perceives the world and his place in creation. It is influenced by family dynamics, cultural customs, ethnicity, nationality, religious views ( doctrines and dogma & beliefs), peer pressure, inspiration, philosophical ideology, political perception,  economics, innate vales & talents , God given virtues ( often unrealized or undeveloped), knowledge, and wisdom. This list is far from complete.

Sin is the adversary of character and is like a genetic curse inherit in all humanity. Sin leads to opposition to the guidelines of the Law that is Holy and the basis of our virtuous morality. Only through Christ atoning sacrifice are we worthy and significant free from blind obligation to obedience of the Law.  In correlation by the leading of the Spirit sanctified and ethics is thus written on the heart of all who live obediently in and by faith (Rom 6-8).

Our strengths and weakness need to be assessment and evaluation and at times God uses not our strengths but our weakness ( Gen 50:20)  for the benefit his divine purpose ( Matt 28: 18-20 must be done in conjunction Matt 22:33-39). Finally, Philippians 1-11, Titus 1:6-8, 1 Timothy 3:2-7, 1 Corinthians 13, Galatians 5, Romans 12-16 as well as Matt 5-7, Eph 5, Col 3:5, and Rom 1:18-32, Rom 2-6). The Good News is since all are declared righteous and redeemed by Christ and love writes the Law on one’s heart in transformation, obedience and willing service of love.

The individual and community is being transformed and restored as long as we keep trudging running, persevering, suffering thru the race of life and praising and glorify God in all things. Thus, doing our part to advance the completion of God promise of salvation and inclusion of all who are willing into the New Adam ( Man)- Perfected reconstructed Eternal kingdom of God when Christ returns to reign in the Eschatological Age (Moo 2000).

In God, Christ and Spirit,

Trent Rindoks

 

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Bibliography

anonymous. Ancient Greek Philosophy. Edited by James Fieser, Bradley Dowden, & Kirby Jeremy. 2016. http://www.iep.utm.edu/greekphi/ (accessed May 01, 2016).

 

Bredfeldt, Gary J. Great Leader, Great Teacher: Recovering the Biblical Vision for Leadership. Chicago: Moody Publishers, 2006.

Duvall, Scott J., and Daniel J. Hays. Grasping God’s Word. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2012.

Moo, Douglas J. Romans. NIV Application Commentary. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2000.

 

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SEARCHING FOR GOD IN THE CHURCH TODAY

AN APPRAISAL OF: Chester & Timmis, Everyday Church (2012)

 

Chester, Tim, and Steve Timmis. Everyday Church: Gospel Communities on Mission. Wheaton: Crossway, 2012.

 

 

TRENTON CLARK RINDOKS

RLGN 489

MAY 13, 2016

 

 

 

 

AN APPRAISAL OF: Chester &Timmis, Everyday Church (2012)

Chester, Tim, and Steve Timmis. Everyday Church: Gospel Communities on Mission. Wheaton: Crossway, 2012.

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Synopsis

“In America, alone eighty five million people are unchurched or non-believers while 15 million are Christians and approximately   2/3 of the World still remains still has not heard the Gospel or received Christ, or is unchurched (Chester and Timmis 2012, 13).” This places Christians on the margins of Society. Furthermore, attendance at church is following in some nations. Many claim the problem is in secularization or the acceptance of pluralistic views towards other religions others will place the blame on technology and modernization of society. While each of these factors may, have some limited influence on the decline of Christianity as a worldview.

According to Chester and Timmis is “In many ways the opposite of secularism is actually nominalism, so growing secularism is an opportunity to develop witness to Christ unclouded by nominal faith. Much of the decline in the church in the West has been the falling off of nominal Christians. As a result, what remains may be more healthy. We have the opportunity to become communities focused on Jesus and his mission. The number of true Christians may not be falling so steeply—if at all. What is fast disappearing is the opportunity to reach notionally religious people through church activities to seize these new opportunities; we first need to recognize that the Christian gospel has moved from the center of our culture to the margins (Chester and Timmis 2012, 12).” The purpose of the book is to provide alternative methods of evangelism and ministry that will focus on areas of needs and concerns and common interest to establish and build rapport with the community and reach out to lost and hurting souls.  The books focus on ways to focus of cultural distinctions and build relationships in an everyday social engagement format such as simply sharing meals, social gatherings and household Bible Studies, Pastoral Care.  This book also equips one to share The Gospel in a simple a relative manner focused on a creation story using the questions what and why to break down idols in an individual’s lives and show them the ways of Christ-like manner. The Scriptural basis for the Everyday Church Model is 1 Peter and the premise is such, As Christians we are “Aliens and Strangers” of a sometimes hostile world until or Lord Christ returns and reigns in the Eternal Kingdom our true home. However, we are under commission as Royal ministers of the true royal nation to welcome and extend citizenship into his inclusive kingdom while respecting and engaging in the customs of the cultures of or host nation as long as it does not infringe on the virtues of God himself.

Assessment

The integration of community relations and culture understanding is essential for the Spreading of the Gospel. While many models suggest simply planting churches of existing successful churches or integrating multimedia, drama or elements of culture within the supporting or performing special evangelical Events such models are not always successful The key is going to where the unreached people are, in their homes, jobs,  and community. Thus, where they gather and spend the majority of time while not abandoning traditional models. Hostility is expect for even Jesus was resisted and rejected by his peers (Chester and Timmis 2012, 12-35).

A New manner of communicating the Gospel must be established that is relevant to the people we are trying to reach. “We cannot talk about guilt, faith, religion, or even God and assume that people understand what we are talking about. The gospel used to have more plausibility structures supporting it than it does today. We cannot talk about Jesus and assume that people locate him in a framework of creation, fall, redemption, and future hope. Everything has to be explained. (Chester and Timmis 2012, 38)” Additionally, guilt has been replaced with apathy but  a desire to have ones needs and meet ones goals is a basic drive in every person a God given instinct. Additionally, lending a helping hand, showing compassion, empathy, giving one id imitation the servant manner of Christ and id walking in his footsteps and provides hope. Furthermore, every one serve as a Pastor-Counselor in some fashion. First, we do so in everyday life in our kind actions, words and deeds. Secondly, we all are called to minster to the community as a whole. Third, as sin is present in all of us and change and transformation takes place over a lifetime. (Chester and Timmis 2012). We all must encourage, convince and rebuke each other of our failing and serve as mentors and counselors as we are restored in sanctification through the practice of disciplines and the aid of the Holy Spirit -over all life- long race towards restoration in the Eikōn, or image of Christ. As Christ justified us through his atonement of grace and mercy we must show the same grace mercy in the Spirit of brotherly love toward everyone whom we mister, counsel and interact with in our lifetime. Finally, the Bible forms the foundation for counseling, teaching, and encouraging others (Chester and Timmis 2012, 65-75). The Scripture is our primary source our means faith and revelation of the truth of God and the nature of many things under and above creation. However, one may need other secondary source for areas of culture, health, social, or cognitive issues when dealing with people. Additionally experience can also serve as a wise teacher in areas of faith and culture, and relationships

One must remember what the authors call the four liberation truths: First, God is great, so we do not have to be in control.   Next, God is glorious, so we do not have to fear others.   Finally, God is good, so we do not have to look elsewhere and additionally, God is gracious, so we do not have to prove ourselves (Chester and Timmis 2012, 82-83).” These four truths insure humility and sacrificial service and that the glory is given to God and help maintain balance and stability when working with other, thus empowering them in a Christ-like manner.

Chester and Timmis provides a new way to give a testimony and Spread the Gospel based on the Creation plan God. “Creation= what is your Identity or What do You identify with or to Whom?   The Fall= The What is the problem or weaknesses in your life?  Redemption= is what is the solution and Why? This is used to try to break down and determine what “Idols”, assumptions or addictions/ afflictions (ways of the world) are keeping one from Christ. Consummation /Destination= Final Hope or Salvation the outcome (Chester and Timmis 2012). This plan not only works for spreading the news but also as a basic plan for setting goals overcoming obstacles, and setbacks, assessing progress and maturity and facing adversity and fear thus can be both a great tool for evangelism and counseling.

The authors also address that mission work mot only occurs in remote regions of the world to distant people but should be done in one’s own locality.  Several suggestions are provided and include, sharing meals with none-believers, walking, or using public transportation, instead of driving, participating in hobbies or community sporting events, striking up conversations with coworkers and building rapport while trying to incorporate Christ-like themes in the conversation. Volunteering, being active in social events within the community and being hospitable to one’s neighbors lending a hand to those in need and above all else showing  and loving God, people and life while living and expressing oneself in Christ-Mindedness ( Phil 1-11) is the best means to bring people to Chris and is the way of performing Everyday Church.

Rationale

While the authors provide a foundation on some key components of counseling, evangelism and social concerns in our postmodern society. Worldview and individual perspectives will vary from person to person and in each sub group, ethnicity, nation, people group and based on other variables. A complete assessment of an individual, group or society is or group is a necessity for evangelism. Additionally, once basic needs have been established the person group or society should be entrust with the authority of the maintaining and profession of the needs. However, in the early stages of development or maturation the mentor may need to evaluate the progress and make suggestion for improvement for growth focusing first on strengths rather than weaknesses unless the flaw is one of great determent to the individual, group or society. This was the missionary strategy of Paul and is the basis for both short term and long-term therapy programs and many strategic plans.

 In regards to Evangelism a source for planning, culture and other issues is,

Winer, Ralph D, and Hawthorne Steven C., . Perspectives on the World Christian Movement. 4th. Pasadena: William Carey Library, 2009.

 

 

For an understanding of Christian Counseling I recommend the two books,

Clinton, Timothy, and George Ohlschlager. Competent Christian Counseling. Vol. 1. Colorado Springs: WaterBrook Press, 2002.[1]

 

&

Crabb, Larry. Effective Biblical Counseling. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1977.

 

Overall, Chester and Timmis provide great insight for church planting, evangelism, building rapport, performing needs laymen pastoral care and being better stewards, shepherds and ambassadors of Christ in the ever-changing world as we prepare the way for the return of the King. We live in hope ,joy and suffering in this age until his return in humble servitude and praise Proclaiming his inclusive Gospel of inclusion and walking in likeness and mindset in the manner of love  In Hopes That all will See and know and hear ! Amen!

 

Bibliography

Chester, Tim, and Steve Timmis. Everyday Church: Gospel Communities on Mission. Wheaton: Crossway, 2012.

 

Clinton, Timothy, and George Ohlschlager. Competent Christian Counseling. Vol. 1. Colorado Springs: WaterBrook Press, 2002.

 

Crabb, Larry. Effective Biblical Counseling. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1977.

Winer, Ralph D, and Hawthorne Steven C., . Perspectives on the World Christian Movement. 4th. Pasadena: William Carey Library, 2009.

 

 

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